Indivisible is a story of deep unresolved childhood pain that holds a man and a woman stuck in a past that many of us can relate to. This compelling story deals with the all too familiar effects of how unresolved issues from the past can hinder and cripple many decisions we make as adults. When Jonah has to deal with serious on the job police issues, he struggles to make the best decisions concerning his long-time friend Tia. Tia has made wrong decisions in her career path and continues to hold on to the anger she has against Jonah. Through their tumultuous relationship, I was able to identify several deep rooted issues that I needed to address in my own life.
I thought about the pain and regret I felt when I decided to have an abortion 15 years ago. That was the second worse traumatic experience of my life and I went into a very dark depression for many years afterward. I thought in my own reasoning that if I just had another child right away all the pain and regret would somehow go away. Oh how wrong I was. It was almost immediately after the abortion that I met back up with an old boyfriend and basically fast tracked a whirlwind love affair. I wanted to have a child asap! I realized quickly that the pain didn’t go away at all. Now, I am so very pleased that I was able to give birth to my daughter.
I don’t deny that for one second. I can say that a day doesn’t go by that I don’t ponder if my child was a boy or a girl. I have heard testimonies from women who have made this grave mistake and recall their pain. They have spoken on their request for God to give them some type of solace about the child and some have said they have actually seen their unborn child in Heaven. Oh, how I have prayed for something like this to happen for me, but God has been silent about this issue completely. Indivisible allowed me to spend some much needed time with Father God to work through the pain of the many decisions I made some 15 years ago. Could it be that I am just now still enough to be able to deal with the deep wounds I have created out of wrong thinking and immature bible knowledge? It has been very therapeutic to allow God to do some much needed deliverance in this area of my life. Join me in stilling yourself before our Lord to receive the deliverance He has readily set for us to partake of….
To enjoy your copy of Indivisible please click http://kristenheitzmannbooks.com/books/indivisible-a-novel/
Blessings in Discovering our Daily Destiny Steps
During my daily devotion time today, I recorded two dreams that I had last night and I’d like to share them with you. The first one I remember went like this…When I arrived at my house, I noticed a haggard looking man wearing a blue shirt standing outside my front door. I noticed my front door was ajar, so I went in to find my house totally ransacked. The television in the living room was missing, which I thought must have been stolen. All the while I didn’t feel any fear or violation at what someone had done to my home. I noticed a patio that is not present in the natural where I found my television had been smashed right in the middle of the screen. I went outside to the man to find out what happened. He told me who had done this and what I needed to do in order to recover all. At that moment I was shaken awake by a real earthquake.
As soon as I woke up, I immediately pleaded the Blood of Jesus over our safety and God’s perfect will for our lives. I came against every assignment of the enemy and asked God to reveal anything specific about His vision for me that the enemy is trying to steal/smash.
The second dream: My daughter and I were driving down 23rd street and there was a woman in a wrecked car with her two sons that swerved right in front of us blocking us from moving forward. My daughter and I were patient and began talking to each other, then the car in front of us was just gone all of a sudden. We proceeded on and came up to a moving truck, so we had to wait to continue moving forward again. Then I was awakened by another earthquake. Yes, two in one night.
As soon as I woke up, I again asked God to allow us to recognize any distractions on our journey to follow His will. I also thought of Psalms 23:3, where David says that God leads him down paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Since we were riding down 23rd street, I spoke that promise out loud in declaration of our lives.
Do you believe that our dreams have meaning and God can help us along our journey? I certainly do! I just pray that God reveals to me in anyway He pleases as to the direction of my life, because I am a sheep in need of The Shepard that knows all. Feel free to share any dreams that have caused you to ponder the meaning. Please check out a dream interpretation book that can assist us with our dreams by clicking on the link to the right http://dougaddison.com/store/books/understand-your-dreams-now/
Doug trained under the late, great John Paul Jackson
Tuesday, I ended with a brief synopsis of my childhood discovery concerning eating disorders. Even though I didn’t choose to be neither anorexic nor bulimic, I did have issues with excessive exercising without eating much food. I was able to get help from my mother, brother and the doctor. Thank God for my mother! She actually cooked me breakfast, lunch and dinner until I was able to find balance and feel better about myself. Okay, enough about that topic of research and on to another. It’s funny, as I think about it-I should have put much more focus on relationship research. Oh yeah, how about my own behaviors. Now that would have been a great help to me and to the other people who were truly annoyed by me.
Okay, yes I said all that to say, I pretty much love to do research on things that I am interested in. Savannah has a knack for putting her all into a great story that she believes in. How many times do we really do the extra hard work to pour ourselves into what will better ourselves and those we are close with? Where do our investments really lie? While this is a quirky kind of story about a young woman in pursuit of her dreams, there are real lives that have been affected by her hard work. Sometimes Savannah doesn’t get it right, even though her heart was in a good place. But isn’t that just how life works. For the many of us who really don’t set out to hurt others, sometimes is still happens. But isn’t it just like our Father in Heaven to help us sort ourselves out and to make it right as best as we can to others who are hurt by our actions. If you are looking for a fun read, please click on the link to find out about Savannah http://reclaiminghearts.com/the-savannah-series/
Until we read again, many blessings…
Savannah is a young college graduate from a wealthy southern background. This story is a witty story about an aspiring writer. As a lover of reading and writing myself, I could identify with Savannah’s desire to fulfill her life long dream of writing. Of course, she has people in her life that want to control how she goes about her dream, but she discovers that her journey is her own. She uses grace and integrity to stay in good, respectful relationships with those who would like to run how her dreams should be played out. Another thing that struck me to the core in this book is the personality differences between Savannah and her mother. I mean they are like night and day. But isn’t that the way it is sometimes. This world would be a total bore if we were all alike. Savannah and I are alike in that we are very inquisitive. I remember my mother telling me as a young girl that if it was anything that I didn’t understand, I needed to ask the teacher until I understood. That bit of wisdom has never left me. I will fight to understand something that I am interested in.
As I digress for just a second, there was a time that many people saw me as the little fat girl with bifocals. Well my friend it was true. I was pretty plump with big glasses. So, I decided that I was going to lose weight and I thought I was going to try anorexia or bulimia. This was until I did research on the side effects and personal life stories of people who have struggled with these types of eating disorders. Hey, I could take the hint and I didn’t want to deal with any of those side effects-so I nixed that idea quickly. I do know many young and older women who have struggled with this, so I do not take it lightly and understand the struggle. Please share a bit of your story if you can relate to this issue and have found positive direction, or simply need encouragement/prayer in this area. Check out tomorrows post to read about the struggle I was able to overcome with my eating habits. Blessings until then……
Go after your passions and enjoy the ride
This morning during my time of devotion, I read an encouraging Christmas testimony by Steve Shultz that blessed my soul. Source: Steve Shultz: ‘I Didn’t Want to, But Under My Breath I Whispered, ‘Thank You, Lord, For EVERYTHING.’ What Happened Next Changed My Life.’ It caused me to compare this year and last year’s Christmas experience. Last year I made the largest salary and spent the most money on Christmas in all my adult years. At the same time, my spirit was in great turmoil because I sensed I needed to make some serious life changes. I struggled to keep my emotions in check with those around me. During this Christmas season, I have the most peace I have ever experienced. I am currently enjoying following God’s destiny plan for my life in writing on a full time basis. Each day isn’t always a bed of wonderful roses, but the peace that passes all understanding remains. It has been a pleasure simplifying my life financially and socially. I feel closer to God more than ever. That tends to happen when you are putting your total trust in God’s daily provision and guidance. Will you choose to trust God in all circumstances?
Loving God passionately…..